This new year I have been trying something different. I made resolutions that would feel my heart more so than my ego and committed to living those resolutions a little everyday rather than pushing hard for two months and giving up.
To keep a daily journal where I will write and doodle in it everyday. Add one post a week to my new blog.
- Add one finished digital art every week.
- Read at least a little bit of fiction everyday.
It looks like I am off to a rough start but I feel amazing about what I have done, not so bummed about what I haven’t done; Which is different from every year before this one.
We are taught to highlight our shortcomings and told it is to help us improve. Having my flaws shoved in my face everyday made it impossible for me to feel like anything but a failure everyday of my life. I have never been able to find the words for this nagging feeling I’ve always had, but there is it and so simple it looks now. Through everything that I have accomplished, I’ve always felt like a failure.
Writing really does help me be honest with myself and find clarity in what I need. This is not a failure. We will call it a half win, and that is all it took for me to feel confident in my abilities and comfortable in my skin. Is this why people have hobbies!?
It is so satisfying to be working towards something just because I want to. Do you know what keeps me motivated to reach long term goals? Results! Seeing that what I am doing is working makes me want to do it more. Writing, even for this short time, is definitely feeding my heart. I feel more like I belong to this world and like this life is being built for me.
And that is how it’s going so far. I feel like a million bucks, in just two weeks of showing up for myself. I should probably reflect on how I could meet the two others goals but, seeing as I am high on myself right now we will save that for next week!
Let me know how it’s going for you!